Written by a mom who believes throw pillows can coexist with Nerf guns  

Listen - I love a backyard moment. Twinkle lights, cozy throws, a vibey Spotify playlist… But here’s the thing: I also live with humans under 4 feet tall who believe a “relaxing evening” involves 3 super soakers, 20 shrieks per minute, and someone inevitably stepping in dog poop. 

So how do we, as moms, reclaim our backyard space for both bougie Pinterest vibes and real-life chaos? You guessed it - with hacks. Here’s how to fake a high-end backyard makeover that’s kid-proof, weather-proof, and water balloon-proof (because your kid is definitely going to forget the “no aiming at Mom’s face” rule).  

🪑 Outdoor Seating That’s Stylish AND Hose-Downable

You want that woven, coastal-chic look… but also want to wipe off sticky ice lolly drips in one go. 

👉 Hack it:  

  • Go for faux wicker or metal furniture with removable, washable covers (or no cushions at all—just toss a beach towel over the seat). 
  • Spray a water-resistant coating like Scotchgard on any fabric you don’t want stained. 
  • If in doubt, buy cheap IKEA outdoor cushions and treat them like sacrificial lambs. 

💬 True story: My youngest turned a patio chair into a popsicle throne last year. That chair is still sticky in spirit. This year, we go washable only.  

💡 String Lights on a Mom Budget

Ambiance is my love language, but I’m not hiring an electrician. You can still get that glowy backyard feel—even if your extension cords are held together by mom hope and duct tape. 

👉 Hack it:  

  • Use solar-powered string lights (they auto-charge AND survive summer storms). 
  • Command hooks or zip ties on fencing make hanging them a breeze. 
  • Wrap lights around shepherd’s hooks from the garden center to create a DIY lighting path. 

✨ Pro tip: Your backyard looks instantly “intentional” when it glows at night—even if there are still pool noodles scattered like ancient ruins.  

🧺 Hidden Storage = Sanity

Kids bring out stuff. Buckets, balls, half-dressed dolls. And unless I want my yard looking like a daycare exploded, I need a quick stash option. 

👉 Hack it:  

  • Use a cute outdoor bench with built-in storage (bougie on the outside, chaotic on the inside—like all of us). 
  • Even better? A wicker laundry hamper with a lid. Toss toys in, pop the lid, and boom: instant adult zone. 

💬 Confession: One summer I used a cooler as a toy chest. It doubled as a wine fridge on weekends. 10/10, would recommend.  

🌿 Plants That Look Fancy But Are Practically Unkillable

Want that lush, curated patio look? You don’t need a green thumb—just a smart plant list and a good watering hack. 

👉 Hack it:  

  • Go for snake plants, ferns, hostas, lavender, or coleus (they all survive minor neglect AND look lush). 
  • Use self-watering pots or put ice cubes in the soil—slow melt = no overwatering. 
  • Bonus: Lavender keeps mosquitoes away. Nature's diffuser, truly. 

🌱 “Bougie” translation: You’re basically curating a wellness garden… that your 6-year-old occasionally digs in for worms.  

🍽️ A Fancy-Looking Table That Laughs in the Face of Spills

You want your outdoor table to feel like a bistro, not a booster seat battleground. 👉 Hack it:  

  • Use a faux linen vinyl tablecloth (looks elegant, wipes clean). 
  • Mason jars = rustic elegance. Let your kids decorate them with paint pens and use them for utensils, straws, or wildflowers. 
  • Skip the fancy dinnerware. Melamine plates are the MVP—unbreakable but cute. 

 

Final Touches That Make It Feel Pulled Together (Even When It’s Not)

  • Outdoor rug = cozy zone. Pick a bold pattern to hide stains. 
  • Bubble machine? Yes. It’s ambiance, distraction, AND photo-op. 
  • Add a drink station with juice boxes AND rosé. Everyone’s hydrated, everyone’s happy. 

You deserve a backyard that feels like a vacation - even if you’re also refereeing a three-kid splash war and yelling “Close the sliding door!” for the 47th time. So light the twinkle lights, plant the lavender, and toss the melamine. You can have a backyard that’s both bougie and bulletproof.

Just make sure your lawn chair is out of the splash zone.   💗 

xoxo